The Bachelor Finale: What Did Arie Just Do?!

Lauren Meets The Family

The Bachelor finale has finally arrived. It seemed like a long time coming. Chris Harrison comes out to a live studio audience. This is what they always do for the finale. Right away Harrison announces that Arie is about to be one of the most controversial Bachelors after this episode airs. Well, the spoilers have been out now for a week and spread like wildfire (I have managed to somehow keep away from them), so will it surprise anyone?

Off we go back to Peru. Arie is walking around reminiscing. Talking up Becca and Lauren and it probably won’t end up meaning anything in the end. Arie meets up with his family. His father reinforces to us what we already know, which is that his son is indeed crazy.

Lauren gets to visit his parents first. She reveals the obvious, that she’s not cool. A great bit of info is released when Arie’s sister-in-law tells Lauren that it’s always interesting around this family. Lauren, you’re about to get the full treatment of it. Like it or not.

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ABC

The biggest mystery might be as to why Lauren keeps bobbing her head as she talks? Will this be explained, ever?

Overall, the family seemed decently impressed with Lauren being a “cool girl”. Even after she told them point blank that she’s NOT cool. Go figure.

Becca Meets The Family

Back to Cusco, Peru. Becca is up next to meet the fam. Becca is looking really stellar for the meet-the-parents outing. Classy and professional. Arie and Becca start out talking about how they fell in love with another. Arie’s mother seems to be settled in on Lauren though.

Arie’s dad seems to care about Lauren mainly, so he asks Becca about her. Insert face palm emoji. Arie’s father gives Becca the ultimate reassurance by telling her he’d be happy with either girl for Arie. Splendid. Somewhere uncle Gary is seething with his cane in hand and ready to use it.

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According to Becca it’s like comparing apples to starfish. Which one is Lauren? The poisonous apple? Or the starfish? Either way, a comparison that leaves you more lost then you were before she said that.

Quick, get Becca a bucket. She’s about to vomit next time she hears the name Lauren mentioned.

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Arie heads back to the family to get some final analysis of the women. Surprisingly the family is now all about Becca? They feel she’s a better fit for Arie and his father believes she’s the kinda girl who will give him the kick in the ass that he needs.

Lauren’s Final Date

Before they head out to the commercial break. Caroline joins Harrison in studio. She reiterates that she doesn’t think that Arie knows what he wants. She’s still appalled by him.

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Lauren gets her final date with Arie. Machu Picchu is the location. She’s so impressed, because she’s read about it in books at school. See, further validation she’s not cool and was studious.

Lauren makes sure to tell Arie how great it was to meet his family and he tells her how impressed he was by how comfortable she was. Here come the lies, galore. As Arie and Lauren are connecting, the elephant in the room has to be the shot of Arie’s chicken noodle legs. Not manshaming here, but give this man some more prop food!

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During the evening portion of their date, Lauren thanks Arie for willing to work with her and giving her confidence to open up, etc. Willing to work with her? What is he helping her with? Her history homework by taking her to Macho Picchu? False hope girl, but I’m sure Arie loves that.

The best question arises when he asks her how he sees their days looking like after the show. Lauren starts by describing them going to work, coming home together (do they work at a same job in her world?), have a glass of wine together (crucial). Then on the weekends “maybe” take the dogs to the part and see family. Sure hope she takes her dogs out more than “maybe” on the weekends. The first words of Arie’s response is “it’s funny”. Yes, you got that right Arie.

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He does also add that he wants kids soon. Yeah, good luck with her, when she can’t even commit to taking the dogs out regularly.

Becca Final Date

Becca gets her last chance to impress. They meet on the streets of Cusco and wander around town under an umbrella, with random children bumping into them. Their date gets better when they get to hang out with some sheep and alpacas.

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Arie can’t seem to focus because he can’t decide which woman he loves more.

Becca gets one thing right, she feels that Lauren is like most girls he’s dated before. They meet for a hotel chit-chat. Arie tells her he’s still conflicted. At least he’s being honest with her. This is when she presents him a rather meaningless note affirming her readiness to be committed to him. She even made a cute scrapbook for them. With a page left unfilled for their babies pics. Creepy Becca for you.

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Crazy alert! (ABC)

The Moment of Truth

Before another commercial break. Ben Higgins and Jason Mesnick share their thoughts on Arie’s looming decision and how their situation compared.

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As if Ben Higgins knows anything (ABC)

Bachelor favorite jeweler Neil Lane arrives with the rings for Arie to choose. This guy should be the next Bachelor.

The moment of truth has arrives, or one we think is. Stepping out of the first limo is Lauren. That’s usually a sign of doom for that person.

Lauren makes a passionate final plea and proclamation of her love for him. She talks about walls breaking down and loving him all along, but Arie is tipping us off at home by looking down and not at her. All she needs to do is look at him and stop talking. It’s over Lauren.

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Finally, Arie speaks. He says he gave it thought all night and can’t give anymore to her. He gave her his all, but still he can’t find place for her in his life. Damn.

All she can say is that she wishes him the best. Not much more she could say.

She’s stunned and blindsided by him. Doesn’t understand how he hasn’t made a decision until this morning. Lauren rides off in the limo shocked. It’s happened every season when someone is sent home in the finale. No surprise yet.

Becca’s turn to see Arie. This should be good news, but we still have an hour left in the show. She gives her statement about how wrapped up in love she’s with him. Arie doesn’t purposely look away this time. He gets down on his knee and proposes to her. She accepts.

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The happy couple celebrates. She accepts the ring and the rose. He asks her when are they making babies? Now, I have not seen a guy that quick to desire babies. Like he’s pushing it more than any girl that he was dating on the show. Chillax wannabe daddy Arie.

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Happy at last, or not? (ABC)

So it’s over, right? No it isn’t. Chris Harrison promises to show us uncut footage of something that happens that never happened on any reality TV show. Okay, sure Chris.

So Real the Drama Begins 

We are now sent to the final day in Peru after Arie and Becca were pronounced as a happy Bachelor couple.

First we get to see iPhone footage of them swinging in a hammock and proclaiming their love to another and all of America. When Arie talks about the great time he has with Becca, he mentions thinking about Lauren and how would life be like with her.

Arie is convinced that he made a mistake and wants to risk it all for Lauren. He tells Chris Harrison about calling off the engagement with Becca.

Poor Becca, is arriving in LA for what she expects it to be a “happy couples” weekend. It’s about to be anything but happy for her. Becca is wildly impressed about how huge Arie’s ring is–—I know what you dirty minds were thinking there.

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Becca anxiously await Arie as he walks up to see her.

Back to Harrison and the audience booing and gasping in disdain. Harrison doesn’t know what possibly the audience at home is going through? Well let me answer, nothing. It’s a show. Not life or death.

After the break, Harrison warns the audience that’s about to see the most emotional scene ever. Insert ten emoji eye rolls.

Arie and Becca meet. He comments on the size of her ring, which she won’t be wearing much longer. He keeps referring to their time together as “hanging out”. He tells Becca he doesn’t wanna be “half-in” with her and rather take a risk with Lauren.

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Arie rather do it in person then on After the Final Rose. How noble of him. She begrudgingly tells him that she hopes that he finds what he wants, as it’s clearly not her. You are right about that Becca.

Play-By-Play 

Lets go play-by-play on this. Becca retreats to the bathroom. Arie lurks by the door. He asks her if she wants him to stay. She doesn’t. He walks away. Arie walks out of the building, stands outside the door and looks down on his fingers. Apparently he forgot to trim his fingernails. Get this man a clipper.

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Arie’s camera goes black momentarily. He follows back into the house. Supposedly nails freshly trimmed and all. He heads straight to the bedroom. Looks like he lost his wallet, or maybe he’s looking for her. During this whole time not even one damn producer offers to help navigate him through this maze of a vacation home. Looks like he finally may have used his Arie senses and located the crying sounds coming from the same bathroom he left her by.

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Being the gentleman Bachelor that he is, he asks her if she’s doing okay?

“What are you still doing here?”

Maybe he changed his mind again Becca?

“Just go!”

At least Becca dressed for the action with some very flattering jeans and a fashionable cute ocean blue top.

As she wildly scatters throughout the place, Arie makes the best decision of the night and plants himself on the empty couch.

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Becca, “I have nothing to say”.

Sure you don’t.

“What did I do wrong?”

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Well, maybe you’re not blonde and are quiet like a mouse, just as Arie prefers his women to be.

Production is laying an absolute egg in all this. Becca is damn nearly hyperventilating and they won’t even offer her an oxygen mask or anything. Unreal.

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Arie wants to just talk “a little bit”. He proceeds to touch her shoulder…

“Don’t touch me!”

He removes his hand quicker than getting burned by the oven.

Arie is impatiently trekking Becca and now just wants 2 seconds with her.

1…2…..times up Arie.

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She obliges and manages to give him at least 2 minutes.

“I feel my future was ripped away”.

Not entirely Becca. Maybe you and Arie and Lauren can be a happy little family after all. Just compromise.

“I can’t imagine my life without you!”.

Start imagining it, because it’s reality.

At 50 minutes into this, Arie issues his first apology. Progress is being made.

“Well you finally saw me cry”.

That is true. Looks like Becca is turning a corner her.

“Just go, please just go”.

Apparently that was a queue for Arie to slide off the couch a little and stare at her. It’s fine, if you’re into that sort of thing.

He finally says, “ok, I’m gonna go”, but he does anything but that. Still staring.

After a slew of teases and mild attempts, Arie gets up and walks out—FINALLY!

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Only took 22 attempts for him to leave (ABC)

Becca rips off her mic and runs back to the bathroom. Shit just got real, folks.

Can we please get Montell Jordan in the house and queue up some “This is How We Do It”?

Back in the studio, Becca joins Harrison to share her thoughts on what happened. She hasn’t heard from Arie since. Harrison tells her that she will be seeing Arie tomorrow night in the special the network allowed to have. Nice cliffhanger. This long night is finally over.

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ABC

EPISODE RATING: 9.5/10 

(One of the more memorable Bachelor finales we’ve ever had)

BACH TALK:

Take aways from the finale of the show.

  • Finally a finale that delivered on the usual promises of being the most shocking or a first of something. This wasn’t all that different from what Jason Mesnick did, just played out on the finale and they kept the cameras.
  • I don’t feel any dislike for Arie. They are trying to paint him a villain, but the guy genuinely looked conflicted. I blame the show and the way it’s molded. It serves no purpose to force the finale to require a proposal. Give these people time to date and get to know another.
  • Becca got a raw deal, but he tried to be upfront with her and she sort of overlooked his undying connection with Lauren.
  • Arie has a type, Lauren is his type. Looks like he likes the idea of marriage, but he rather have a girl that’s his type, which Becca always seemed to be an opposite of.
  • I still feel this episode didn’t have to be 3 hours long. Could have been trimmed down to 2 hours.
  • Arie will feel the heat from the internet and those ladies from his season that will be in the audience for the After the Final Rose.

For more you can check out my site The Bachelor Universe also follow me on Twitter at @TheJimAlexander

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The Bachelor (S:22 E:10): Oh Hi, Ross

Kendall’s Day

The final three are set. The overnights are coming. It’s down to Lauren, Kendall and Becca. The destination is Peru. Arie’s first date is Kendall. He meets her in the desert. To ride a car through the sand, only to follow that by sand boarding. Off-camera she reveals that she isn’t ready and wouldn’t propose to Arie if he asked her.

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On the dinner date she’s scared that she’s not ready for him like the other women are. He tells her that he’s never dated anyone like her and he’s so curious about her. All the confusion and uncertainty makes her tell him that she’s falling in love with him? Ah confusion.

The A-man pulls out the fantasy suite card and Kendall immediately clears her throat. She goes back on her talk of not being ready and accepts the fantasy suite. Kendall changes her mind on her feeling about every minute.

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All Arie managed to learn about her after spending the night was how she likes her eggs done. Important, but not quite marriage like. Arie lets it slip out that he’s falling in love with her.

Lauren’s Day

Lauren’s date is next. She goes on a plane ride with Arie to see the sights from above. The stronger she feels for him the more afraid she gets. Sounds complicated. She doesn’t know if she can do it anymore. Arie is scared shitless over that. The biggest take away is that Arie seems to have a big hickie on his throat. Thanks Kendall.

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Lauren smiles and nods and nervously keeps saying “like” as Arie voices his concerns about her, yet he reassures her that he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her. That’s two for two on him proclaiming his love. Becca, the pressure is on you to make him say I love you. That was good enough for her to be convinced to accept the overnight date.

 

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The rooster wakes them up from the overnight. Arie feels so much closer to her. I bet. Although he can’t stop telling her that he loves her. Now, she can’t see him ending up with anyone but him.

Becca’s Day

Becca wearing daisy dukes runs and jumps into Arie’s arms. She asks him how he’s been. Oh he’s been just fine, Becca. Arie needs to stop being good at everything cause it’s driving Becca wild.

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These two are wildly boring and plain. They agree on everything and have no concerns, besides the obvious concern that there is a major lack of passion between them. Arie completes the trifecta and tells Becca he loves her. Three for three. Well done.

Of course she accepts the fantasy suite. He follows with a semi creepy giggle he’s been doing after every girl accepts an overnight.

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Next morning Becca is the happiest girl in the world. She can’t believe he said he loves her. She sees her life partner, father of her children in him, yet little does she now two other girls are aware that Arie loves them.

Oh Hi, Ross

After the high Becca rides off with, in comes Ross, Becca’s ex who claims to be her soulmate. He goes right up to Arie’s door. Arie lets him in thinking it’s management. It’s not. Ross proclaims his love for Becca and vows to fight for her. Your turn Arie.

 

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ABC

Of course production is going to guide Ross to Becca next. Ross makes his proclamation that he is meant to be with her. He acknowledges that his life is like The Notebook. She doesn’t understand why he would think he had a chance. It’s because crazy has no limits. She doesn’t want him back, that’s all it took for crazy Ross to beat it.

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Aftermath

Arie still can’t wrap his head around how Ross made his way to Peru. Easy answer, the same people who got you on the show Arie. Becca and Arie chat again. Arie is having serious reservations about Becca and doesn’t want this situation to muddy his future should he pick her. Makes sense.

After the craziness of the Becca boyfriend, Arie sits down with Chris Harrison for a chat. Very casual.

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How was your week?

Oh fine, just an ex that flew half way across the globe to try to steal the girl I’m in love with.

Anything else?

Not really, good dates.

Cool.

Rose Ceremony

We actually get a rose ceremony. As always, Arie asks to speak to Kendall before he hands out the roses. This time Kendall’s outcome isn’t as positive. Arie doesn’t feel she can catch up to other women and she didn’t give him the assurance he wanted, so it’s game over Kendall.

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In fact, she takes the news great. Doesn’t seem rattled or disappointed at all. As if she just came to an end of a fun date and it was time to go home. Clearly she wasn’t ready or in it for the long haul. She’s free to make her own taxidermy man now.

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ABC

EPISODE RATING: 7.5/10

(Becca’s ex crashes the show and little happens from it)

BACH TALK:

These are the episode take aways:

  • Lauren can’t stop herself from constantly saying “like”. Like as if she’s a hyped up high school cheerleader.
  • Becca and Arie are just so unspectacular together. They agree with everything and get along, yet there seems to be a lack of passion.
  • Kendall is just having fun, she’s going along for the ride and going with the flow. Too emotionally unavailable to allow herself to take it further with Arie.
  • There is no way that Ross wasn’t tipped off by production. I mean he shows up directly in some village they were at. They even sent him right to Arie’s door. I wouldn’t be surprised if they covered his plane ticket also.
  • It’s sort of embarrassing and shady that the show sets up their cast just in hopes of a minor ratings boost. Putting people in uncomfortable and awkward situations just for shock value. Tough luck for Arie.

For more on The Bachelor, check out my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander

 

The Bachelor The Women Tell All: Arie Is Feeling The Heat

Here We Go

Just as Arie’s season is about to wind down, we get The Women Tell All episode. Chris Harrison previews all the drama that’s coming, but the most dramatic thing from the start seem to be the overly excited and odd studio audience members. Check out these two in particular. The bandit man and the hyped up woman.

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The first order of business is the silly glam sham between Chelsie and Marikh. It’s stupid and just an attention grabbing topic.

Petty Feuds

The better feud between Tia and Bekah M. is touched on. Lauren S. sticks up for Bekah saying that as one of the oldest girls there at 31, she found Bekah to be mature. Oldest at 31? Geez, I feel ancient being 32 then, much less Arie at 36. Bekah comes on strong by pointing out to Tia that she has no right or idea about speaking of her readiness to love. Seems like a fair point Bakah is making.

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Bakah isn’t sorry she was born in 1995. Wow, I actually remember 95′ as a elementary school kid in Poland wearing Power Ranger boxers to school believing they were shorts. Fact.

Krystal Hot Seat

Kystal goes up on the hot seat. She gets immediate heat from Caroline, who is disgusted by the way she referred to all her cast mates in derogatory terms.

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Bibiana tries to play therapist and tells her she needs to look within. Until the unknown Olivia (no idea who she is) brings up the topic of Krystal changing her voice. She does sound a lot different on the show than she is on the hot seat with Harrison. Krystal blows it off and attests her show voice to vocal chord stress.

Krystal changed the topic to mention that her homeless brother saw her on the show. How? Because of that he’s rejoined her family and is off the streets. Well that’s nice, but how does he have this intel and TV access? He had an option not to be on the streets to begin with? I wanna know way more about the story.

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ABC

 

Sienne Hot Seat

After the break Sienne gets a seat on the hot seat. Did I miss the memo that she was a fan and house favorite? She was so well put together, quiet and polite. She maintains her self awareness by explaining that she realized she was on borrowed time with Arie and wouldn’t make it till the end.

She also wonders why her education and accomplishments aren’t a bonus rather than an intimidation. Fair points, but when you’re dating a guy who couldn’t cut it at Pizza Hut, do you expect something else?

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Sienne leaves by confirming she’s dating, single and looking.

Bekah Tell All

It’s time for Bekah to tell it all. Bekah brings up how she was unfairly judged for her age, bringing up the fact that there were many women there there were only a year or two older than her.

She talks about Arie’s attitude shifting after she revealed her age. Noting she felt him being insecure about his age, more than she was.

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ABC

The big scandal about her going missing is brought up by Harrison. She talks about being on a weed farm in some mountains and sleeping in a tent. Surely, she was not missing but probably indulging in all that the farm was growing.

Harrison pulls out his phone and suggest Bekah call her mom to check in and let her know she’s safe in the studio. Probably less safe there than on that farm, then he lets the cat out of the bag and basically proclaims that she will be gone for the summer and partaking in Bachelor in Paradise. So there it is.

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ABC

Tia Tell All

Finally there is Tia. She is pissed at herself for leaving it all out there. She wishes she could take it back. Ok, this after the fact desire to put up walls isn’t working. She was bothered he couldn’t give her an explanation. Tia confirms that she was in love with him and shocked she was sent home.

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ABC

Harrison reveals that Arie came up to him after eliminating Tia and telling him that he was unsure if he made the right choice.

Arie Hot Seat

So they finally bring out Arie. Immediately Tia wants to know why she was sent home when he had doubts with Kendall. He explains that his connection with Kendall was farther along and his only question was if Kendall was ready. Basically, he just wasn’t that into you Tia.

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Jacqueline feels it’s unfair that PhD issue was an obstacle. He claims it was a difference in life and he applauds her for being mature and pursuing her education.

Looking back Arie claims his heart was with Bekah and her age let him scare him off. He is very ready to settle down and he had a fair to move forward with her.

Caroline throws shade at Arie. She brings up something about what he did and how horrible it was. Apparently it has something to do with the remaining three women. Arie just answered by saying things will play out in the coming days. Uh ohh, now that’s a tidbit.

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Krystal Part 2

Krystal comes back on the couch, this time with Arie. Apparently Caroline’s shade was enough for him to take out his frustrations on Krystal. He was cold and snappy with her. Telling him how he should have had sent her home earlier had he seen and heard all that he found out watching back the show.

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After the break we have bloopers. Arie quirks. Arie’s flat ass. Bibiana eating.

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John Cena joins the couch along with Leslie Mann and their co-star from the upcoming movie Blockers. A trailer for the movie airs that’s followed by Bachelor blocking attempt moments. At this point they are buying time and trying to fill it desperately.

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A preview for the next two episodes airs and the show comes to a close.

‘WOMEN TELL ALL’ EPISODE RATING: 9/10 

(One of the better Tell All episodes)

BACH TALK:

Some take aways from the Women Tell All:

  • It was the Krystal show again. No matter where she is and what she does, if she’s on TV she’s definitely taking over.
  • Arie went after Krystal savage style. Surprised how he didn’t hold back or sugar coat and seemed honest.
  • Caroline was the spokesperson of the night. She might have single handedly saved Arie’s season with the upcoming tease reveal.
  • Bakah M. came off well. She was well-spoken, composted and made great points about being judged unfairly about her age.
  • The women were out for Arie, he was on the defensive.
  • It was cool to see John Cena and the cast members of Blocked. No real point of Cena being there besides promoting his movie. Weak Bachelor tie-inn.

For more Bachelor news, check out my website The Bachelor Universe and you can follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander

The Bachelor (S:22 E:8): Arie, Get Out!

Kendall Home Town

It’s home town’s time. Kendall starts things out. Kendall has twin sister Kylie who is almost identical looks wise, plus she rocks the red lipstick. We learn quickly that Kylie is quite the interrogator. Arie doesn’t get the assurance from her that he’s been accepted. It’s evident that Kendall’s entire family is skeptical. Meanwhile dad is letting Arie know his daughter doesn’t fall in love easily.

Tia Home Town

Tia gets the next visit. Her brother looks like a badass version of Mr. Clean. They start things out with some mini wieners on a toothpick? Quite the appetizer. Mr. Clean will not be fooled, he knows all about Arie’s reputation and kissing bandit ways.

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ABC

Tia’s father knows all about Arie, from the internet. See, they can even google you from middle of nowhere Arkansas.

Becca Home Town

Becca’s visit follows. Arie and Becca start things out with some apple picking. You know those world famous Minnesota frozen apples.

Apparently uncle Gary will be a tough sell, being a pastor and all. Pastor doesn’t mess around. Trying to insinuate that Becca’s dad used to shoot and stuff ducks, so Arie might be next courtesy of Pastor if he wrongs Becca. Pastor isn’t thrilled by Arie not being a very church going man.

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Becca’s mom Jill might as well be a older version of Tina Fey. She’s a hard one to crack. With every passing moment Arie looks to be distanced from Becca, not only by the family but by the apparent fact that a pastors niece doesn’t mesh well with a kissing bandit.

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ABC

Lauren Home Town

At least Lauren lives near a beach. They start out by riding horses on the beach. Now, that’s better than any date Arie has been on this season. Well, soak up the beach, because it’s about to get rough.

Awkwardness ensues soon as they walk into the house. Arie is sweating, literally, the pressure from military dad. Lauren’s aunt is “surprised” with the connection Lauren claims to have with Arie.

Arie has nothing to lose besides death at the hands of Lauren’s father. Arie manages to save his life by telling pops that he traveled to Iraq to visit the troops. He manages to survive dad.

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ABC

Mom on the other hand. Skeptical wouldn’t even begin to describe her. She’s firing at him asking about other relationships. Mom is savage.

Arie is telling Lauren lies of grandeur about how well it went with her parents. Or at least she thinks it went great. Illusions Lauren, illusions.

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ABC

Rose Ceremony

Arie can’t handle the pressure of a rose ceremony so we walks away to get a breather. Thank Lauren’s military parents for the stress they put him under. The man is sweating more than Ben Higgins.

He comes back and wants to talk to Kendall. He’s asking her if she is ready to get engaged. Arie is pulling a Rachel Linsey by pressuring a proposal. Kendall doesn’t want to leave, but can’t confirm she’s ready for marriage.

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ABC

After a bunch of delays, onto the roses, Becca gets the first rose. Lauren gets a rose? Down to Tia and Kendall. After deliberation it’s Kendall! In a stunner, Tia is heading home. I can’t anymore with this guy. Shocker after shocker every week.

As Arie walks out Tia he tells her how incredible she is. Well, not incredible enough. She talked a big game and karma of young Bekah M. got her. Tia lets out a cry squeal as she gets into the limo. Cries and cries and drives away.

EPISODE RATING: 9/10 

(Shocking elimination)

BACH TALK:

Take aways from episode eight.

  • I’m floored by Tia’s elimination. Kinda speechless. She was the evident frontrunner.
  • Arie keeps throwing curveballs and making shocking eliminations.
  • Kendall keeps hanging on. She seems to be hanging off the ledge, but reels herself back in.
  • Lauren’s family was a tough pill to swallow. He was sweating buckets. Maybe it was because he tried to make a great impression? He cared more about her than the others?
  • Becca’s pastor uncle may have been tougher than Lauren’s dad. That’s a toss up.
  • Tia had the most welcoming family experience, that is after her brother the badass Mr. Clean gave his approval.
  • It was a unusual hometown with a lot of skepticism aimed at Arie. Nobody was very welcoming to him.

For more on The Bachelor, check out my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander

The Bachelor Winter Games (Ep. 1): Bachelor World Comes Together To Play Games With Each Other

Bachelor Games Ceremony

What is the Bachelor version of winter games? Well, for starters it’s not taking place in South Korea, but instead it’s in…Vermont.

Ben Higgins is the first cast member introduced. We get a recap of his Bachelor failure of picking Lauren, while any sane man would have picked JoJo.

Bibiana is up next. She’s a recent familiar face from Arie’s season.

Speaking of failure, Dean is up next. Apparently he’s done some self-reflection. Sure.

Clare retired from the Bachelor, and looks like she’s already un-retired. Her attempt at justifying her retirement is equally unsuccessful.

Josiah from Rachel’s season is up next.

Lesley Murphy from Sean Lowe’s season is up next. She reveals she’s had a double mastectomy.

Ashley I. needs no introduction. She cries. A lot.

Hannah Storm joins Chris Harrison to host, with sportscaster Ashley Brewer. This is the night that Storm’s career ended.

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“Team USA” walks down the street in a parade. Incredibly lame commentary follows. This is worse than the NFL Pro Bowl.

Luke Pell is part of team USA. How much did they pay him to go against his Bachelor standstill.

Yuki is here for team Japan. She doesn’t know English either.

Team Canada is up next. Lead by Canadian Ryan Sutter wannabe Kevin.

Zoey is a solo competitor from China.

Laure is the only U.K. competitor.

Australia has a Tiffany and Courtney (he’s a guy).

Team Sweden has a Rebecca.

Jenny from Finland.

New Zealand has two women representing.

Christian apparently can represent both Germany and Switzerland.

A new ultimate show low (there has been plenty of those over the years), the contestants rise for “The Bachelor Anthem”.

Speaking or Ryan and Trista come out with the “Bachelor Lantern”.

Mingling

Chris Harrison comes to the house to introduce himself. He announces there will be rose ceremonies. A Bachelor Winter Games will be crowned in the end. Whoo Hoo. Japanese girl couldn’t get over that people kiss on the show. Dean is on the prowl for Lesley.

Everyone wants Kevin, and by everyone I mean the two criers, Ashley I. and Bibiana.

Josiah can’t get over New Zealand Ally’s badunka dunk a.k.a her ass. Bystander Christian is happy to see them making out.

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Let The Games Begin

The games have arrived. I still can’t get over Chris Harrison’s beard. The first event is, wait, they need to learn how to ski first. First casualty is Ally who falls on her bum bum. The dangers of this competition are evident.

Biathlon is between Michael G? He’s on the show? Benoit, Josiah, Luke and Ben Higgins. Josiah face plants immediately. Somehow through everyones failures, Dean manages to win the qualifier.

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These people (all of them) are brutal. They can’t even ski in a straight line. Kevin and Rebecca win their competitions and date cards. Kevin is deciding between Bibiana or Ashley I. He quickly goes with Bibiana.

Rebecca asks Luke on a date. Luke is wearing his leather jacket that he’s grown out of 10 years ago.

Dean and Lesley are talking about boobs, while Clare wants Benoit to teach her how to cook. She tells him that he needs to wear his dorky glasses, cause they look super sexy on him.

My favorite part is Christian trying to say Josiah’s name. Best part of the show.

Short Stay

A rose ceremony starts with a half hour left on the show. Harrison announces there will be five people leaving. They will vote off each other.

Lesley is voting off Jamey. Yet, another individual that just got introduced to America. Wait, what country is he even from?

Looks like Ally might be Josiah’s only ally. The women are turning on him and Clare is on a mission to get him out of the house.

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Benoit only wants Clare so that he can cook with her. Get this man a Groupon for a cooking date. Christian has other plans for her. He has a talk with Clare about kissing and the merits of lip kisses.

Onto the roses. Rebecca and Kevin are safe.

  • Jenny
  • Luke
  • Lesley
  • Dean
  • Stasi
  • Ben Higgins
  • Lilly
  • Courtney
  • Yuki
  • Christian
  • Benoit
  • Clare
  • Bibiana
  • Ally
  • Michael
  • Tiffany
  • Ashley I. (of course)
  • Josiah

Eric heads home, British girl, Jamey, Zoe all head home. That completes episode 1.

BACH TALK:

The premiere of The Bachelor Winter Games arrived and here are some take aways.

  • The first half hour was incredibly brutal and cheesy.
  • Why didn’t we get an introduction to all the American contestants?
  • Eric we hardly knew you. The man who placed third on Rachel’s season was largely forgettable in his short stint on here.
  • Hard to tell some of the world competitors apart.
  • Focus is on Clare, Dean, Ashley I. and Bibiana, so the usual suspects.
  • This show is airing in 48 hours again? Twice a week? Three nights of Bachelor?

For more on The Bachelor, visit my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander

The Bachelor (S:22 E:7): That’s Amore

Welcome To Tuscany

The women arrive in Tuscany, Italy. Chris Harrison informs the ladies that it’s a week before home towns and there will be no rose ceremony, only dates. Becca K. is the first one to get a solo date with Arie. To start the date, they go get some bread and have a little picnic.

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Picnic turns into a dinner date and Becca tells Arie how he would be the first guy to really meet her family, apparently the last guy just came over sporadically and they couldn’t even make it official. Looks like that was enough to convince gullible Arie that he’s falling for her and to give her a spot at home towns.

Jacqueline Meltdown

Jacqueline is melting down again and trying to disqualify herself, while Lauren B. gets another one-on-one date. Jacqueline can’t wait any more so she goes up to Arie’s room and tells him that she has doubts and just isn’t that into him. Her paranoia gets to her. Off she goes. Eliminates herself. Paranoia at its finest.

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Pizza Time

Lauren and Arie’s date starts with some ice cream and a walk around town. They sit down and eat some pizza, I repeat, they sit down and EAT pizza. They actually ate a prop for the first time. Amazing. Whatever happens from here on out is just a bonus. I stand corrected, on the dinner date Lauren tells are she’s falling in love with him and he proceeds to get up and leave. She immediately regrets opening up to him. He probably needed to take a leak. Let the guy pee. He comes back and tells her that he’s falling deeply in love with her. She gets a rose. What?

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Truffling

Sienne is the next one to head on a date with Arie. They start out with truffle hunting. This is so weird. They are using a cute dog to dig in the ground to find truffles. This man whose their tour guide actually invites them to his home for dinner. Geez these Italian people are trusting. Arie reveals that he used to work at a pizza place. That answers the question why Dominos had to change their entire menu and company outlook.

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Sienne and Arie have a polite conversation at dinner. Her logic versus his heart is the struggle to the middle ground between them. She’s not ready not to have him in her life, but something is off for him. He feels they should be further along and can’t give her a rose. That’s not logic, that’s him following his heart. She logically tries to explain what happened as she drives off in the limo. The women pretend to act shocked when Sienne’s luggage is taken away.

Someone’s Going Home

Villa Royale is the location for the group date. Bekah M., Tia and Kendall are the ones vying for two roses. Kendall is the first one to get some alone time with Arie to build a case for herself to stick around. Tia thinks it’s her duty to warn Arie about Bekah not being ready for him. At least Tia is upfront to Bekah about throwing her under the bus with Arie. That’s what friends are for.

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Arie reassures Bekah about their feelings for each other. She also opens up and reveals that she has multiple gray hairs. Now, I feel they are perfect for another. So Arie comes over to give the first rose and it goes to Kendall. Well, if that wasn’t another Arie bomb. Tia or Bekah will be heading home. Well after some talk with each lady, Arie drops the shocker and sends young Bekah home. Must have been her gray hair’s. He’s picking Tia and heading to Arkansas.

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EPISODE 7 RATING: 8.5/10 (Bekah M. shockingly goes home)

BACH TALK:

Another surprising episode tonight. Here are the take aways.

  • Jacqueline’s meltdown wasn’t surprising, but what was is that he seemed genuinely disappointed with it and wanted her to stay.
  • Lauren B. seemed to have the writing on the wall for her, especially since he left the table. It was surprising that she was the one to receive a rose.
  • Becca K. has been slow and steady. Arie seemed to display concern about their lack of momentum, but there has been no sign of that.
  • Sienne’s day on the show appeared to have been numbered. She didn’t last past this episode. There was minimal chemistry between them.
  • The big shocker came when Arie gave Kendall the first date rose. That meant Bakah or Tia would be heading home. It ended up being Bekah heading home. She seemed like a frontrunner and a sure-fire home town entry.
  • Arie has been full of surprises the last few weeks. He has been pretty true to himself and serious. Not keeping around apparent favorites.

For more on The Bachelor, check out my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @JimRko 

 

The Bachelor (S:22 E:6): Arie Plays American Tour Guide in Paris

Bonjour 

Welcome to France. Arie and the remaining ladies arrive in Paris, France. Before anyone can enjoy themselves, Chris Harrison needs to remind Arie that Paris is a city of love and it’s as good as it gets as far as budget will allow them. Jacqueline wants a date with Arie, problem is that Arie has no idea who she is.

Harrison tells the women that there will be two one-on-one dates, a group date and the first two-on-one date, where someone will be heading home. Lauren B. gets the first one-on-one date. Holding hands, Arie pretends he’s French and utters a bonjour, the one word he and Harrison learned.

Lauren of Silence

Arie and Lauren’s date starts off splendid. Arie pretending to be a French tour guide, while Lauren is in such awe of Paris (not Arie) that all she can say to everything is “wow”.

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Jacqueline has a strong belief that this is the city where she can shine. Yeah, maybe it is the city, but definitely not the show.

It’s dinner date time for Lauren and Arie. They toast to her first time in Europe (most definitely it looks like a short stay) and the cringe worthy boredom of a date continues alongside the nicely distributed prop food.

Arie talks about his previous relationship and how the woman he was with lost Arie’s baby she was carrying and then left Arie right after, which seems to be the thing to finally have gotten a reaction from Lauren. Geez, it had to take that sort of story. Arie managed to get her to admit she has troubles trusting men. She just gives a glimmer of hope for him enough to give her a date rose.

Moulin Rouge

Apparently the Moulin Rouge is a big deal. I just thought it was a mediocre movie. These women are loosing it over this group date to visit the Moulin Rouge. The winner of the group date gets to go on stage with the performers. Bekah M. can’t stop gushing about being at the Moulin Rouge, even a kid visiting Disney for the first time would be more subdued.

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Anyways, Tia is the first one to get some time with Arie to make out. Why? Because. Bekah and Arie run off to the corner to chat, but wide-eyed Bekah unleashes her energy while Arie is gazing into her eyes and inching towards her in hopes of a kiss, but she’s talking a mile a minute. Arie runs off with Sienne next, lots of tongue there.

Back to the group date rose winner, which is Bekah. The roseless ladies didn’t miss out on much besides Arie looking like a giant Smurf with a top hat lip singing in French on stage in front of actual paid customers who unfortunately get to witness this tragedy.

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Krystal comes out with a date card to reveal that the 2 on 1 date will consist of her and Kendall. She also proceeds to inform America that she’s “fun wife, material”.

Special K’s

The American tour guide episode continues as the special K’s (Kendall and Krystal) are getting a tour of a fancy chateau. The first event on deck is a maze in the courtyard. Krystal finds Arie with ease, while Kendall couldn’t find her way out with the help of GPS a map, or a compass.

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Krystal gets the alone time with Arie and profusely apologizes for her actions from the week before and starts talking about the color, depth and texture of their relationship, or his sweaty shirt for that matter. She does manage to throw Kendall under the bus.

Instead of getting some quality convo with Arie, Kendall is forced to defend Krystal’s allegations that Kendall isn’t ready for marriage. Foolish Kendall tries to connect with with Krystal but falters during her attempt. Arie breaks up the Kendall and Krystal moment by telling them he needs more time to make his decision on who is getting the date rose.

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The awkward dinner with the special K’s and Arie starts, but I can’t seem to get my mind off Krystal’s sighs and moans after any word comes out of her mouth. Like what is that “mmmhhmm”? Krystal has that Joker smile, that’s what it is.

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Looks like Arie isn’t playing games as he extends his date rose to Kendall! Damn. Savage Arie. Just like that Krystal is left gazing at the Eiffel Tower…alone. Meanwhile, Arie and Kendall are making out at the Eiffel Tower.

Meet Jacqueline

Jacqueline, the mystery woman no one knows about, finally gets her date. Things start out great when Arie pickers her up in a car that immediately breaks down. Good start. It has to be a sign from above warning about the budget spending limits. A shopping spree is next, which actually consists of a trip to one store. Dinner date seems to be too much for Jacqueline to handle. Poor girl is melting from stress. So Arie has to scare the poor girl more and brings up obstacles between them, until he offers her the rose.

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Rose Ceremony

I guess it’s safe to say that episode ending rose ceremonies are here to stay for the rest of the season. Three roses and five women. The rose order goes as follows:

  • Tia
  • Sienne
  • Becca K.

Chelsea and Jenna are heading home. Bekah M. looks to be in shock over the eliminations. She just has a reaction for everything. Jenna “Margot Robbie” Cooper gets a hug and a bow out. Chelsea gets walked out by Arie. Side chatter among the women occurs, while Lauren B. is off to the side talking to a producer about her jealousy and uncertainty about going forward. Ta-dah..

EPISODE RATING: 8.5/10 (Surprising Elimination of Krystal)

BACH TALK: 

This was a good episode. Surprises and twists. Finally they were out of the country so the dates and locations got much better. Here are some take aways:

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  • Goodbye Krystal. That came about a week earlier than expected. The 2 on 1 with Kendall ended up blowing up in Krystal’s face. Still it was very surprising to see her go and not make it past this date. The villain is gone, so the focus is on the true contenders left.
  • Bekah still flying high with Arie. She received her the group date rose and looks like Arie is still super into her.
  • Predictably Jenna was eliminated. She was stunning, but had no traction with Arie. Chelsea on the other hand was a bit of a surprise elimination, especially since Sienne took her spot and stayed.
  • Jacqueline, the woman of international mystery was revealed. Not only did she get screen time, but she had a good chunk of it devoted to her. Apparently Arie is feeling her and has been for a while, but we never got to see it.
  • Next week looks to be the final week before home towns. At least two to three women will be leaving by the end of next week. I expect it to be Sienne, Jacqueline or one of Kendall or Lauren B. Safe to say that both Becca’s, Tia are likely headed to the home towns.

For more on The Bachelor, check out my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander