The Bachelor (S:22 E:3): Wrestling, Dogs and Keeping it Socially Active

Women Of Wrestling

Week three of The Bachelor starts out with a group date. Get ready for some bodyslams, because the group date consists of some good old fashioned wrestling. One of the women admits to never wrestling, there is a shocker. The women from GLOW wrestling (from the 80’s) arrive to smack some sense and skills to Arie’s girls. Bibiana and Tia have their gimmicks pre-made, “The Crybabies”.

Unbeknownst to him, Arie, gets a match with surprise opponent, Kenny King. Somehow he gets beat down and they give Arie a fake win at the end.

Time for the women to get at it. Bekah does her best Catwoman impression and slaps and smacks the heck out of her opponents.

Krystal proves to be a destroyer by bashing her opponents head against he mat.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

After the women are done slamming each other, they get some alone time with Arie, actually, it’s just Krystal, at Bibiana’s expense. Bekah keeps asking the women if they watch WWE? No, they don’t Bekah, WWE is on exactly at the same time the show you’re on is! You are on THE BACHELOR, do you think these chicks watch pro wrestling? Insert eye roll emoji.

The rose is up for grabs and the women are pretending to tell themselves and each other that they will be getting a rose, all while Arie is making out with the young nanny, Bekah, who ends up getting that rose.

Socially Active

Social Media Manager guru Lauren S. gets a solo date with Arie, so you know she’s definitely tweeting all about it. She’s so impressed with the vineyard that leads me to believe she’s been permanently glued to a computer screen.

Lauren can’t stop talking about growing in her career and not having time for her last boyfriend. It’s called being addicted to social media, girl.

The women at the house get a date card. The implications is that it will be dog themed, which immediately makes Annaliese’s palms sweat and she projects the most sour face possible. Guess what? She also has dog trauma. Insert another few emojis.

Lauren, talks Arie’s head off to the point he needs to stop her and tell her that she won’t get a rose. Luckily for Lauren, she has all the time in the world to dominate social media now.

Doggie Daycare 

The group date is at The Grove in LA. The women are doing a doggie showcase and failing epically at it. Even Fred Willard couldn’t help with the commentary.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

Annaliese can plan her swift exit after she has an awkward chat with Arie, where he can’t help himself, but look away. Ouch.

Cocktail rose awaits none other than Chelsea.

During the pre-rose ceremony Bibiana continues her lamenting. Meanwhile Bekah M. and Arie tries to find out if she is ready for marriage. She flips the questions back at him and psycho analyzes him. He calls her “risky”. Has to be the pixie cut.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

We finally find out what it takes to get Tia smitten, some moonshine. How unimpressive.

Annaliese, takes Arie to the balcony in hopes of a make out session, but he tells her they are not there yet, meaning, leave this balcony woman because you’ll be leaving this house tonight.

Alert! There is a Margot Robbie “lite” look-alike in the house. Stay tuned for her name.

Annaliese, is desperate for an answer, so she confronts Arie and gets her elimination, prior to the rose elimination. Arie just isn’t the man to deal with bumper car and doggie phobias.

Rose Ceremony

Are we seriously back to rose ceremonies at the end of the show? This is groundbreaking.

The first rose goes to Caroline (gets my approval). Kendall. Ashley. Lauren B. Brittany. Becca K. takes the rose with a “hell yeah”. Sienne gets the next one. Krystal. Tia. Markel. Jenna (ok, so maybe she isn’t quite Margot Robbie, but to me she does). Jacqueline. Marikh gets the final rose of the night. Bibiana and her mouth are finally going home.

EPISODE RATING: 8/10 (Arie is letting women leave by the minute)

QUICK TAKES:

  • Krystal is being established as the clear villain of this season, only problem is that she’s kinda nice also. There is a lack of baddies, so Krystal is the worst of the nicest. I find her just more of an intimidator to the women.
  • Bekah is making her push. This episode showed how smitten Arie is with her already, wait till she tells him her age. Seems like that reveal is next week.
  • Annaliese and Bibiana are finally put out their misery. Lots of complaining, but they got no action.
  • I’m still debating if Jenna resembles Margot Robbie. To me she does, I’ll take it.
  •  For an old Bachelor, they sure are booking a lot of immature dates for Arie. Wrestling? Go-karts? What’s next, a the kiddie playland at McDonald’s.
  • Arie is making it uber (not the car service) easy to see when he’s not into a woman. He can’t even look them straight in the face and finds every excuse not to get physically close to them and kiss them.

Pics: (ABC/Paul Hebert)

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The Bachelor (S:22 E:2): ‘Checking Out’ In Style

In Style

Some things never change, and episode two of The Bachelor assures us that Bekah has yet to find a bra. Becca K. wore a bra and gets to go on a solo date with Arie. Gray-man Arie arrives to take Becca on a motorcycle ride. At least Arie admits to not knowing female style so he takes Becca to a renowned stylist to get her looking top-notch. Even I know Christian Louboutin are baller shoes. Becca is at the right place indeed. Becca better just head back straight where she came from in Minnesota, because the women will tear her apart with all those material gifts she’s gotten.

Arie admits to his gray hair! A novelty, folks. This is the questions the entire world has wanted him to admit.

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Meanwhile at the house the women get a date card. Krystal gets a one-on-one date.

On their dinner date, Becca K. reveals her dad passed away from brain cancer. Arie relates to her honesty and gives her a rose. He proceeds to reveal that she only gets to keep her earrings, so much for those Louboutin shoes.

Sweet Home Arizona

Home is where the heart is, that’s the theme of Arie’s date with Krystal. Unless he’s getting her some Louboutin’s then it surely will be a letdown. Apparently Krystal has never been to Scottsdale (his hometown), well she’s not missing out on much. His high school looks like a strip mall gone out of business. To make matters worse he turns on his home VHS videos of his childhood, ensuring to bore her to death. This girl needs this misery to end.

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Krystal is getting her hometown date from the get-go as she gets to meet his family. On the contrary, Krystal reveals she’s not close with her family. Her parents divorce and her brother’s issues. She opens up to Arie and are returns the favor with a rose.

Bumper Cars

The group date is a demolition derby. Well, that’s fitting. The cars were the last thing to crash and burn here. The sad story of Annaliese and her childhood bumper car trauma comes to light. The mirrors, the bumper cars, the circus music. Yeah, bring some clowns for her also. The car bumping proceeds to go flawless.

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The next big reveal was Chelsea telling Arie that she has another man! Scandalous! Not really, she tells him about her kid. Bibiana or whatever her name is, becomes enraged over not getting her solo talk with him. Barely legal Bekah M. doesn’t wait around to make out with Arie, who could probably be more of a father figure to her than boyfriend. Chelsea gets complimented for telling him about her kid, but Seinne is the one to get the rose.

Brittany returns from her bumper car injury and gets some alone time with Arie from that. He gifts her with the “most hardcore” certificate, which means absolutely nothing. Don’t even bother framing it girl.

While Brittany is basking in glory with her new certificate, kid nurse Bekah M. is making out with Arie, again.

Krystal won’t ever be confused with Where is Waldo, that girl is always lurking. Bibina is the wrong tough chick to mess with and steal her time with Arie. Bibiana “checked” her. She went straight gangsta on wide-eyed California princess Krystal.

Rose Ceremony 

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Maquel, Jacqueline, Bekah M., Jenna, Chelsea, Lauren S. (first of a dozen Lauren’s), Tia, Annalise, Lauren B., Kendall, Brittany, Ashley, Marikh, Caroline, and Bibiana gets the final rose. Gotta keep the one that stirs things up. Valerie, Jenny and Lauren G.

Distraught Chicago Jenny is heading home and doesn’t give Arie a hug. Blows him off but he runs after her to get a hug. Her first break-up.

EPISODE RATING: 7/10 (Some drama, but nothing to take away)

REACTION:

This episode was all about Krystal, with a side order of Bekah M. getting in on some solo action with Arie. Krystal is slowly being painted as a nice villain. She’s got shades. She has to be an early frontrunner. 

The bumper car date was okay, I get the theme, but kinda childish. 

Bibiana got to bark a bit and unleash her dominance, earned her the final rose of the night and one more week on the show. 

Arie showed a comforting and sympathetic side of him when he consoled with the Annaliese breakdown. I mean she’s dreading bumper cars! Well done Arie. 

(Photo:ABC/Paul Hebert)