The Bachelor (S:22 E:7): That’s Amore

Welcome To Tuscany

The women arrive in Tuscany, Italy. Chris Harrison informs the ladies that it’s a week before home towns and there will be no rose ceremony, only dates. Becca K. is the first one to get a solo date with Arie. To start the date, they go get some bread and have a little picnic.

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ABC

Picnic turns into a dinner date and Becca tells Arie how he would be the first guy to really meet her family, apparently the last guy just came over sporadically and they couldn’t even make it official. Looks like that was enough to convince gullible Arie that he’s falling for her and to give her a spot at home towns.

Jacqueline Meltdown

Jacqueline is melting down again and trying to disqualify herself, while Lauren B. gets another one-on-one date. Jacqueline can’t wait any more so she goes up to Arie’s room and tells him that she has doubts and just isn’t that into him. Her paranoia gets to her. Off she goes. Eliminates herself. Paranoia at its finest.

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ABC

Pizza Time

Lauren and Arie’s date starts with some ice cream and a walk around town. They sit down and eat some pizza, I repeat, they sit down and EAT pizza. They actually ate a prop for the first time. Amazing. Whatever happens from here on out is just a bonus. I stand corrected, on the dinner date Lauren tells are she’s falling in love with him and he proceeds to get up and leave. She immediately regrets opening up to him. He probably needed to take a leak. Let the guy pee. He comes back and tells her that he’s falling deeply in love with her. She gets a rose. What?

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ABC

Truffling

Sienne is the next one to head on a date with Arie. They start out with truffle hunting. This is so weird. They are using a cute dog to dig in the ground to find truffles. This man whose their tour guide actually invites them to his home for dinner. Geez these Italian people are trusting. Arie reveals that he used to work at a pizza place. That answers the question why Dominos had to change their entire menu and company outlook.

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ABC

Sienne and Arie have a polite conversation at dinner. Her logic versus his heart is the struggle to the middle ground between them. She’s not ready not to have him in her life, but something is off for him. He feels they should be further along and can’t give her a rose. That’s not logic, that’s him following his heart. She logically tries to explain what happened as she drives off in the limo. The women pretend to act shocked when Sienne’s luggage is taken away.

Someone’s Going Home

Villa Royale is the location for the group date. Bekah M., Tia and Kendall are the ones vying for two roses. Kendall is the first one to get some alone time with Arie to build a case for herself to stick around. Tia thinks it’s her duty to warn Arie about Bekah not being ready for him. At least Tia is upfront to Bekah about throwing her under the bus with Arie. That’s what friends are for.

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ABC

Arie reassures Bekah about their feelings for each other. She also opens up and reveals that she has multiple gray hairs. Now, I feel they are perfect for another. So Arie comes over to give the first rose and it goes to Kendall. Well, if that wasn’t another Arie bomb. Tia or Bekah will be heading home. Well after some talk with each lady, Arie drops the shocker and sends young Bekah home. Must have been her gray hair’s. He’s picking Tia and heading to Arkansas.

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ABC

EPISODE 7 RATING: 8.5/10 (Bekah M. shockingly goes home)

BACH TALK:

Another surprising episode tonight. Here are the take aways.

  • Jacqueline’s meltdown wasn’t surprising, but what was is that he seemed genuinely disappointed with it and wanted her to stay.
  • Lauren B. seemed to have the writing on the wall for her, especially since he left the table. It was surprising that she was the one to receive a rose.
  • Becca K. has been slow and steady. Arie seemed to display concern about their lack of momentum, but there has been no sign of that.
  • Sienne’s day on the show appeared to have been numbered. She didn’t last past this episode. There was minimal chemistry between them.
  • The big shocker came when Arie gave Kendall the first date rose. That meant Bakah or Tia would be heading home. It ended up being Bekah heading home. She seemed like a frontrunner and a sure-fire home town entry.
  • Arie has been full of surprises the last few weeks. He has been pretty true to himself and serious. Not keeping around apparent favorites.

For more on The Bachelor, check out my site The Bachelor Universe and follow me on Twitter @JimRko 

 

The Bachelor (S:22 E:5): Swampin’ Around A Bowling Meltdown

Florida’s Finest

The women are in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, minds are blown, especially for Becca K. who apparently has never been out of a Florida swamp. Geez, these women are so easy to please.

Maquel is back, while Chelsea gets her solo date with Arie.

Chelsea’s Jet Ski

The women are spying on Arie as he makes out with Chelsea on a jet ski. Stalkers. Afterwards at the dinner date Arie was impressed with her jet ski skills. If by skills you mean someone that sat on a jet ski making out with him, then she’s great.

Chelsea discloses her past and how her ex left her. So much for any credibility to her villain status. He offers her a rose that she accepts. They follow to some garage and walk into a band playing. What are the chances of that? Only on this show.

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Bowling Is Life

What better and cheaper place to take a group of women on a date? A bowling alley. Keeping the budget under control. The women are split into two teams with the winning team getting a date with Arie. As if that’s an incentive. Team blue demolishes team pink. Krystal’s team wins and she focuses on keeping the spirits up high.

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Arie is all about hanging out trophies to everyone, so he invites the losing girls to join the party and spend time with him also. All this to Krystal’s dismay.

Krystal’s Meltdown

On their way back Krystal loses it. Apparently she calls Arie a liar and puts on a nice white robe and won’t go on the date, due to the disrespect to team blue. The women waste no time to tell Arie what Krystal said and calling him a liar. He decides to go speak to Krystal.

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Krystal explains her hurt of not being rewarded for bowling at a smelly cheap bowling alley. He quickly leaves her behind and heads back to all the other women.

He’s on a prowl for the Becca’s. First is a make out session on the rooftop with young Bekah M., followed by a private room invite for Becca K.

Krystal Interrogation

Bekah M. rejoins the women hanging out so she starts giving a speech on the demise of Krystal. Well, it didn’t work because Krystal re-appears right when she’s done. The women begin to question Krystal, but she can’t give a straight answer. Interrogation fail. Firecracker Bekah goes after Krystal and doesn’t hold back.

Lauren B. and Arie have some solo time and they play rapid-fire question and answer, which consists of questions and answers no one could care less about.

Time to give out a group date rose. Lauren ended up sealing the deal and getting the rose. All the kissing Becca’s were left empty handed.

Swampin’ Around

No one will confuse Tia with being high maintenance, but a boat ride on the stinking Everglades? Tia was elated to be in “nature” a.k.a a swamp. Even an alligator pays them a visit, and I thought that voodoo Louisiana trip Nick Viall took his women on was bad. The lunch part of the date is the highlight with friend corn on the cob and some fried frog legs. Now, that’s country livin’.

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Tia does pulls another no-no by bringing up racing to him, which of course gets him going on a tangent. Spare us all Arie, thanks a lot Tia.

On the dinner date, Arie asks Tia about moving out of her little town, but we all know she’s still there. We learn that she’s Dr. Tia, in physical therapy. Tia reveals that she’s falling for Arie and it feels like a fairytale and he just giggles to that. Classic. He makes her repeat it for more affect. This man should be directing this show. Needless to say, she gets a date rose.

Here Comes Krystal, Again

Back to more Krystal drama. She’s back and ready to date Arie. Meanwhile, the quirky Kendall has 100 random weird questions for Arie which are surely going to push him away even further.

Bekah appears to be the ring leader in the get rid of Krystal movement. Kendall is the first one to get into it with Krystal. More blame game with no resolution. Tia jumps in and piles on.

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Ladies and gentlemen we have our season’s first introduction to Jacqueline. Arie immediately talks up their amazing chemistry (even though it’s their first interaction) and proceed to make out.

Arie and Krystal have a sit down. He looks disinterested. She brings up the closeness she felt to him and watching his VHS movies. She starts talking about growing up in a bowling alley. That explains a lot. Trouble in paradise. This situation is muddier than the swamps he took Tia to.

Rose Ceremony

Week 5 of consecutive rose ceremonies. This is getting out of hand. Too much consistency. Krystal brags about all the shades she’s shown Arie, besides the 50 Shades Freed (shameless plug).

Onto the roses:

  • Bekah M.
  • Sienne
  • Kendall
  • Becca K.
  • Jacqueline
  • Jenna
  • Krystal

Marikh, Maquel and another girl (Ashley?) who didn’t stand out heads home.

Episode Rating: 7/10 (Krystal Is Under Fire And Same Old Results)

BACH TALK:

  • Things are finally starting to take shape, one of them being some actual contenders made their waves tonight. A couple that come to mind are Tia, Lauren B., Chelsea and Becca K, with Tia being the strongest contender.
  • We finally know who Jacqueline is. First legitimate interaction with Arie. Still, she’s gone next week for sure.
  • Kendall is different from the other women, but Arie is seeing something in her to keep her around. Every time they have some alone time they have an awkward convo followed by a make out session.
  • The clock is ticking on Krystal. Tonight there was genuine disinterest from Arie. He did his standard eye contact avoidance and keeping physical distance from her. She’s down to her final episodes.

For more on The Bachelor you can check out my site The Bachelor Universe and check out the ‘Bachelor Universe’ podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, etc. 

*Photo: Paul Hebert/ABC

The Bachelor (S:22 E:3): Wrestling, Dogs and Keeping it Socially Active

Women Of Wrestling

Week three of The Bachelor starts out with a group date. Get ready for some bodyslams, because the group date consists of some good old fashioned wrestling. One of the women admits to never wrestling, there is a shocker. The women from GLOW wrestling (from the 80’s) arrive to smack some sense and skills to Arie’s girls. Bibiana and Tia have their gimmicks pre-made, “The Crybabies”.

Unbeknownst to him, Arie, gets a match with surprise opponent, Kenny King. Somehow he gets beat down and they give Arie a fake win at the end.

Time for the women to get at it. Bekah does her best Catwoman impression and slaps and smacks the heck out of her opponents.

Krystal proves to be a destroyer by bashing her opponents head against he mat.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

After the women are done slamming each other, they get some alone time with Arie, actually, it’s just Krystal, at Bibiana’s expense. Bekah keeps asking the women if they watch WWE? No, they don’t Bekah, WWE is on exactly at the same time the show you’re on is! You are on THE BACHELOR, do you think these chicks watch pro wrestling? Insert eye roll emoji.

The rose is up for grabs and the women are pretending to tell themselves and each other that they will be getting a rose, all while Arie is making out with the young nanny, Bekah, who ends up getting that rose.

Socially Active

Social Media Manager guru Lauren S. gets a solo date with Arie, so you know she’s definitely tweeting all about it. She’s so impressed with the vineyard that leads me to believe she’s been permanently glued to a computer screen.

Lauren can’t stop talking about growing in her career and not having time for her last boyfriend. It’s called being addicted to social media, girl.

The women at the house get a date card. The implications is that it will be dog themed, which immediately makes Annaliese’s palms sweat and she projects the most sour face possible. Guess what? She also has dog trauma. Insert another few emojis.

Lauren, talks Arie’s head off to the point he needs to stop her and tell her that she won’t get a rose. Luckily for Lauren, she has all the time in the world to dominate social media now.

Doggie Daycare 

The group date is at The Grove in LA. The women are doing a doggie showcase and failing epically at it. Even Fred Willard couldn’t help with the commentary.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

Annaliese can plan her swift exit after she has an awkward chat with Arie, where he can’t help himself, but look away. Ouch.

Cocktail rose awaits none other than Chelsea.

During the pre-rose ceremony Bibiana continues her lamenting. Meanwhile Bekah M. and Arie tries to find out if she is ready for marriage. She flips the questions back at him and psycho analyzes him. He calls her “risky”. Has to be the pixie cut.

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ABC/Paul Hebert

We finally find out what it takes to get Tia smitten, some moonshine. How unimpressive.

Annaliese, takes Arie to the balcony in hopes of a make out session, but he tells her they are not there yet, meaning, leave this balcony woman because you’ll be leaving this house tonight.

Alert! There is a Margot Robbie “lite” look-alike in the house. Stay tuned for her name.

Annaliese, is desperate for an answer, so she confronts Arie and gets her elimination, prior to the rose elimination. Arie just isn’t the man to deal with bumper car and doggie phobias.

Rose Ceremony

Are we seriously back to rose ceremonies at the end of the show? This is groundbreaking.

The first rose goes to Caroline (gets my approval). Kendall. Ashley. Lauren B. Brittany. Becca K. takes the rose with a “hell yeah”. Sienne gets the next one. Krystal. Tia. Markel. Jenna (ok, so maybe she isn’t quite Margot Robbie, but to me she does). Jacqueline. Marikh gets the final rose of the night. Bibiana and her mouth are finally going home.

EPISODE RATING: 8/10 (Arie is letting women leave by the minute)

QUICK TAKES:

  • Krystal is being established as the clear villain of this season, only problem is that she’s kinda nice also. There is a lack of baddies, so Krystal is the worst of the nicest. I find her just more of an intimidator to the women.
  • Bekah is making her push. This episode showed how smitten Arie is with her already, wait till she tells him her age. Seems like that reveal is next week.
  • Annaliese and Bibiana are finally put out their misery. Lots of complaining, but they got no action.
  • I’m still debating if Jenna resembles Margot Robbie. To me she does, I’ll take it.
  •  For an old Bachelor, they sure are booking a lot of immature dates for Arie. Wrestling? Go-karts? What’s next, a the kiddie playland at McDonald’s.
  • Arie is making it uber (not the car service) easy to see when he’s not into a woman. He can’t even look them straight in the face and finds every excuse not to get physically close to them and kiss them.

Pics: (ABC/Paul Hebert)

For more on The Bachelor, follow me on Twitter @TheJimAlexander and check out my site TheBachelorUniverse.com